“The next time you’re feeling down about the state of politics, remember the Duterte-Duterte tandem”
(Last of 2 parts)
In our column Thursday, we said if there’s one thing Duterte excelled at, it was turning every political issue into a matter of life and death.
The logic follows that the nation, under threat from “external forces” (read: anyone with a differing opinion), needs a strong leader who can keep the peace—even if that peace comes at the cost of a few civil liberties here and there.
However, critics might say that this Duterte-Duterte pairing violates every conceivable ethical standard.
The anti-dynasty provision in the Constitution was supposed to prevent exactly this kind of scenario.
But as we’ve seen, the law can be surprisingly malleable when in the hands of the right Rasputin.
Ethically, the idea of a Duterte-Duterte tandem is a conflict of interest waiting to happen, a blatant disregard for transparency and accountability.
It’s like asking the fox to guard the henhouse, except in this case, the foxes are also deciding which hens get to live.
And what of democracy?
The very foundation of democracy is the idea the people should have a choice.
Yet, if the only options are members of the same family, then what choice do we really have?
It’s the political equivalent of a buffet that only serves adobo—sure, it’s a beloved dish, but sometimes you just want something else.
The Opposition’s response
What’s left for the opposition to do in the face of this?
Perhaps their best bet is to unite under a common banner of sanity.
Or maybe, they could all just band together and propose their own family tandems—Marcos-Marcos, Aquino-Aquino, Cayetano-Cayetano, or even Pacquiao-Pacquiao.
It would certainly make for an interesting fight, though perhaps more suited to a reality show than a democratic election.
Laugh-out-loud prognosis
Will this Duterte-Duterte tandem succeed?
In a nation where the impossible has been made possible repeatedly, where legal and ethical concerns are mere suggestions, and where dynasties are as entrenched as the very soil of the archipelago, one cannot simply dismiss the idea.
The real question is whether the Filipino people are ready for another six years of Duterte-brand governance—times two.
Spin-doctor’s recommendations
Panelo might want to consider a backup plan—perhaps introducing a third Duterte into the mix, just to really seal the deal.
A Duterte trifecta could be the perfect antidote to any lingering doubts about the family’s commitment to national “stability.”
And if that doesn’t work, there’s always the option of renaming the Philippines to Dutertopia—a fitting tribute to the legacy he so passionately defends.
So, the next time you’re feeling down about the state of politics, remember the Duterte-Duterte tandem.
It’s a reminder that even in the most serious situations, there’s always room for a little laughter, a little absurdity, and a whole lot of meme-making.
So go ahead, laugh at the absurdity of it all!
After all, in a nation where turning the mundane into meme gold is practically a national pastime, what else could we expect?
The Duterte-Duterte tandem – a testament to the fact that sometimes, the most unbelievable stories are the ones that are actually true.
