Through the years, it came in the form of imported chocolates, city key chains, or a thick pile of scratch paper from my Papa’s office. Pasalubong, as I would often kid these days, is a whole new love language.
In Filipino culture, the pasalubong tradition is very much like simple gift-giving. Pasalubong refers to a gift or souvenir given to a family member or friend by someone who just returned from a trip or arrived for a visit. More than a material gift, pasalubong is an expression of love and a sign of thoughtfulness.
Here’s the stereotype: Imagine an OFW father returning home from abroad, his suitcase or balikbayan box filled with chocolates, branded sneakers, and bottles of perfume carefully chosen for each family member. Another is a friend coming back from a weekend trip to Baguio, handing out a jar of peanut brittle or a bottle of strawberry jam. These gestures may seem simple but they carry a long-lived cultural tradition.
At its core, pasalubong is a tangible representation of a person’s presence, a bridge that closes the distance between loved ones. It is an unspoken message that says, “I thought of you.”
When a friend from Malaysia came to visit the Philippines for the first time to attend a symposium, I surprised him with a bag of local treats for him to bring home as pasalubong to his family. Touched and seemingly overwhelmed, he sent me a text message appreciating the thoughtful act and sharing how it perfectly aligns with the Filipino value of kapwa he learned during his stay. Kapwa essentially means “fellow being” or “shared self” with others, where one acknowledges and treats others as an extension of oneself.
The Psychology of Pasalubong
If we dig deep into pasalubong-giving, it triggers a deep-seated human need for social connection.
Affirmation of love and thoughtfulness
Filipinos are known for strong family ties and close-knit relationships. A simple pasalubong, no matter how small, reassures loved ones that they were thought of while the other person was away. Even the act or effort of selecting an item that the other person will like or enjoy involves an emotional bond, an act of love.
Sense of gratitude and acknowledgment of utang na loob
For some people, especially among children, there’s an unspoken expectation that when someone travels, they bring something back for family and friends. This tradition reflects the Filipino value of utang na loob (debt of gratitude or good will), where acts of kindness are reciprocated as a form of acknowledging the generosity of the other person.
Sense of nostalgia and comfort
Edible pasalubong items, like dried mangoes from Cebu, butterscotch bars from Iloilo, or pastillas from Bulacan, bring back memories of home. For overseas Filipinos, receiving these treats can be an emotional experience, giving a sense of familiarity and connection to where they truly belong.
Joy of generosity
The act of giving pasalubong sparks joy for those whose love language is giving or receiving gifts. Filipinos, with the spirit of bayanihan (communal unity), naturally enjoy sharing their blessings with people who matter to them.
Preserving the Warmth of Pasalubong
In today’s digital age, where instant communication shortens distances, the tradition of pasalubong is still alive and remains relevant. Online shopping and delivery services make the pasalubong habit easier to enact. A personally chosen gift, even if handed by a delivery rider, still carries the same amount of love, thoughtfulness, and warmth from the sender.
This is what makes pasalubong special. Certain messages of love and appreciation for other people are not easily told. Giving pasalubong is handing out feelings that someone can hold.