Tuesday, July 5, 2022
manilastandard.net
ADVERTISEMENT
  • About
  • News
    • Top Stories
    • National
    • World News
    • Pinoy Abroad
    • Features
  • Opinion
    • Editorial
    • Columns
    • Soundbytes
  • LGUs
    • NCR
    • Luzon
    • Visayas
    • Mindanao
  • Business
    • Corporate
    • Economy & Trade
    • Stocks
    • Money
    • Agri & Mining
    • Power & Tech
    • IT & Telecom
  • Sports
    • Basketball
    • Volleyball
    • Fightsports
    • Active
    • Sports Plus
    • One Championship
    • Columns
  • Entertainment
    • TV & Movies
    • Celebrity Profiles
    • Music & Concerts
    • Digital Media
    • Columns
  • Lifestyle
    • Food
    • Culture & Media
    • Fashion
    • Health and Home
    • Leisure
    • Shopping
    • Columns
  • Others
    • Pets
    • Pop.Life
      • Newsmakers
      • Hangouts
      • A-Pop
      • Post Its
      • Performances
      • Malls & Bazaars
      • Hobbies & Collections
    • Technology
      • Gadgets
      • Computers
      • Business
      • Tech Plus
    • MS ON THE ROAD
      • Sedan
      • SUV
      • Truck
      • Bike
      • Accessories
      • Motoring Plus
      • Commuter’s Corner
    • Home & Design
      • Residential
      • Commercial
      • Construction
      • Interior
    • Spotlight
    • Gallery
      • Photos
      • Videos
    • Events
      • Seminars
      • Exhibits
      • Community
    • Biyahero
      • Travel Features
      • Travel Reels
      • Travel Logs
  • Advertise with Us
No Result
View All Result
  • About
  • News
    • Top Stories
    • National
    • World News
    • Pinoy Abroad
    • Features
  • Opinion
    • Editorial
    • Columns
    • Soundbytes
  • LGUs
    • NCR
    • Luzon
    • Visayas
    • Mindanao
  • Business
    • Corporate
    • Economy & Trade
    • Stocks
    • Money
    • Agri & Mining
    • Power & Tech
    • IT & Telecom
  • Sports
    • Basketball
    • Volleyball
    • Fightsports
    • Active
    • Sports Plus
    • One Championship
    • Columns
  • Entertainment
    • TV & Movies
    • Celebrity Profiles
    • Music & Concerts
    • Digital Media
    • Columns
  • Lifestyle
    • Food
    • Culture & Media
    • Fashion
    • Health and Home
    • Leisure
    • Shopping
    • Columns
  • Others
    • Pets
    • Pop.Life
      • Newsmakers
      • Hangouts
      • A-Pop
      • Post Its
      • Performances
      • Malls & Bazaars
      • Hobbies & Collections
    • Technology
      • Gadgets
      • Computers
      • Business
      • Tech Plus
    • MS ON THE ROAD
      • Sedan
      • SUV
      • Truck
      • Bike
      • Accessories
      • Motoring Plus
      • Commuter’s Corner
    • Home & Design
      • Residential
      • Commercial
      • Construction
      • Interior
    • Spotlight
    • Gallery
      • Photos
      • Videos
    • Events
      • Seminars
      • Exhibits
      • Community
    • Biyahero
      • Travel Features
      • Travel Reels
      • Travel Logs
  • Advertise with Us
No Result
View All Result
manilastandard.net
No Result
View All Result
Home Opinion Columns

Sad boys and sadbois

Adelle ChuabyAdelle Chua
May 2, 2022, 12:05 am
in Columns, Long Story Short by Adelle Chua, Opinion
Reading Time: 4 mins read
A A
218
SHARES
Share on FacebookShare on TwitterShare on Email

“I’m a sadboi! Who are you? Are you a sadboi, too?”

There are sad boys, and then there are sadbois.

It turns out there is a world of difference between the two. This middle-aged tita only learned it recently, after being enlightened by members of Generations Y and Z.

Sad boys are just that – guys who wear their heart on their sleeves. They are the sensitive, emotional ones who are just so in touch with their feelings and who are uninhibited in expressing them. It’s not really a group or a category. They are simply boys who happen to be sad. Like girls could be sad. Like anybody could be sad. Like anybody could be anything.

“This isn’t like emo?” I asked.

No, because emo is more about aesthetics, I was told by a development worker in his late 20s. “It’s more of a preference for a certain hairstyle, clothing, music.”

ADVERTISEMENT

Of course, emo is so 15 years ago. But sadboi is not a new name for emo, either.

Said one Gen Z kid, a university freshman, sadbois are those who play the guilt card on others so they can earn their sympathy.

“Pa-victim, manipulative, ganon,” he added. For example, they tell their partners they would kill themselves if they ever broke up. Or, when pursuing someone, would tell them how badly their exes treated them so they would not get rejected or similarly treated.

Another student, a college junior, said to be a sadboi is a negative thing. She defined the word by mentioning the name of a specific person who she thinks best illustrates the word.

Mind you, while it’s the younger generations who came up with the term, sadbois can take many forms, ages – and political orientations.

•••

This talk about sadbois comes up in the context of the elections and, more broadly, of our perception of gender roles in society.

Unfortunately, our country that claims to have made big gains in equality still has a long way to go in how we see women and resist generations-old biases against them.

Playing the sadboi card is one way some people get away with – and display – misogyny and bigotry. It’s a new name but the tactic has been used for a long time.

For example, a woman doing her job well despite the odds can easily earn the ire of her make counterparts. The sadbois then portray her as grabbing credit, upstaging them, and making them look incompetent.

If she trounces her opponents, the sadbois cry to the high heavens that they were cheated and will devote their time and resources contesting the results. If it comes to pass that her victory is affirmed – and by an even larger margin – the sadbois reject this and go around proclaiming that they were cheated.

If a woman consistently shows she is competent or better than the rest of the spoiled, mediocre lot, the sadbois will stoop so low and criticize her for completely unrelated or irrelevant issues, or fabricate stories to mar her – or her loved ones’ – reputation.

Some men whose partners excel in their fields play the sadboi by guilt-tripping them – they tell them that their pursuits are selfish, and that they are being neglectful of their duties to the family.

And when these men are called out for their brutish ways, they resort to telling their own sad stories, or say they are hurt, or turn the story around so that they are now the victim – as if these attempts excuse and justify their behavior.

Sadbois are not just sad boys. There is a sinister element to how they carry themselves – the intent to manipulate and bring down other people. The truth is, anybody – male, female or otherwise – can be good, just as anybody can be not too good. But if we still somehow believe that it is men’s lot to lead and dominate because it is in their nature to be “strong,” and consequently women are better suited for supporting roles because they do not manifest strength as men do, then we have a serious problem. We have to at least be humble enough to allow these mindsets to be challenged, if not completely broken.

Sadbois – actually overgrown babies of whatever age – make lousy friends, partners, and government leaders. Let’s expose sadbois for who and what they truly are.

adellechua@gmail.com

Tags: Adelle ChuaSad boyssadbois
ADVERTISEMENT
Adelle Chua

Adelle Chua

Related Posts

Cause for concern

byManila Standard
July 5, 2022, 12:15 am
0
158
Cause for concern

Transmission of coronavirus 2019 or COVID-19 has shown no signs of slowing down, with daily infections appearingly still on the...

Read more

Ressa and Rappler must be exposed

byEmil Jurado
July 5, 2022, 12:10 am
0
422
Denying Villafuerte justice

"Rappler can continue with its activities as usual, because the SEC closure order is not final and executory because Ressa...

Read more

Government to miss $200 billion in high-value exports

byTony Lopez
July 5, 2022, 12:05 am
0
169
UnionBank buys Citibank’s local business

"The SMC president firmly believes that the long-term benefits to the country of the ecozone would far outweigh and outnumber...

Read more

Migrants recount nightmare journeys in US-bound trucks

byAFP
July 5, 2022, 12:00 am
0
142
Southwoods nails Seniors’ Fil golf crown

By Herika Martinez "Around 100 people were traveling in the same vehicle, which was not checked even once by Mexican...

Read more

PH-US ties

byManila Standard
July 4, 2022, 12:40 am
0
230
PH-US ties

We used to observe Independence Day every July 4th in this country, since that marked the day in 1946 when...

Read more

Geopolitical uncertainties

byOrlando Oxales
July 4, 2022, 12:35 am
0
324
Denying Villafuerte justice

"This is indeed a remarkable achievement that many have called a David vs. Goliath legal triumph of right over might"...

Read more

Stories you may like

  • Denying Villafuerte justice

    Starting on the wrong foot

    3346 shares
    Share 1338 Tweet 837
  • Of course, it was BBM’s project

    33286 shares
    Share 13314 Tweet 8322
  • The next, now, or never in new romance film ‘Ngayon Kaya’

    2360 shares
    Share 944 Tweet 590
  • Property relations in marriage

    1126 shares
    Share 450 Tweet 282
  • Herbosa will make an excellent DOH Secretary

    2104 shares
    Share 842 Tweet 526

Print Edition

View More

Recent Posts

  • Sydney floods force thousands more to flee
  • ‘Guerrilla’ sales, crowdsourcing: Japan’s game console crunch
  • Mecca businesses see hajj boom ending pandemic slump
  • In Canada’s Quebec, a new way to prosecute domestic and sexual assault
  • Inflation climbs to 43-month high of 6.1%
  • Inside Indonesia’s Islamic boarding school for deaf children
  • Ronaldo’s power play puts pressure on Ten Hag
  • Biden tries to sound upbeat on July 4 despite another mass shooting

Advertisement

Latest News

Inside Indonesia’s Islamic boarding school for deaf children

byAFP
July 5, 2022, 10:00 am
0
130
Inside Indonesia’s Islamic boarding school for deaf children

At an Islamic boarding school in a sleepy neighbourhood on the outskirts of the Indonesian city Yogyakarta, the sound of Koranic recitation is...

Read more

Ronaldo’s power play puts pressure on Ten Hag

byAFP
July 5, 2022, 9:30 am
0
129

Cristiano Ronaldo's shock demand to leave Manchester United has thrown Erik ten Hag's plans into disarray as he scrambles to...

Read more

Biden tries to sound upbeat on July 4 despite another mass shooting

byAFP
July 5, 2022, 9:00 am
0
130
Biden delays possible trip to Saudi Arabia, Israel: report

US President Joe Biden sought to strike an optimistic note of unity in an Independence Day speech on Monday overshadowed...

Read more

Italy blames climate change for glacier collapse, 7 dead

byAFP
July 5, 2022, 8:30 am
0
130
Italy blames climate change for glacier collapse, 7 dead

Italy's prime minister on Monday linked the collapse of the country's biggest Alpine glacier to climate change, as hopes faded...

Read more

Mali welcomes lifting of ‘illegal, inhumane’ sanctions

byAFP
July 5, 2022, 8:00 am
0
130
Southwoods nails Seniors’ Fil golf crown

Mali's junta said Monday it was "satisfied" by the lifting of "illegal and inhumane" sanctions imposed by West African states...

Read more

Advertisement

ADVERTISEMENT
Facebook Twitter Instagram Youtube

ABOUT US

Manila Standard

Manila Standard website (manilastandard.net), launched in August 2002, extends the newspaper’s reach beyond its traditional readers and makes its brand of Philippine news and opinion available to a much wider and geographically diverse readership here and overseas.

Digital Edition

In tone and content, the online edition mirrors the editorial thrust of the newspaper. While hewing to the traditional precepts of fairness and objectivity, MS believes the news of the day need not be staid, overly long or dry. Stories are succinct, readable and written in a lively style that has become a hallmark of the newspaper.

Download – Today’s Paper

Search

No Result
View All Result

6th Floor Universal Re Bldg., 106 Paseo De Roxas cor. Perea Street, Legaspi Village, 1226 Makati City Philippines

Trunklines: 832-5554, 832-5556, 832-5558

© 2021 Manila Standard - Designed and Developed by Neitiviti Studios.

No Result
View All Result
  • About
  • News
    • Top Stories
    • National
    • World News
    • Pinoy Abroad
    • Features
  • Opinion
    • Editorial
    • Columns
    • Soundbytes
  • LGUs
    • NCR
    • Luzon
    • Visayas
    • Mindanao
  • Business
    • Corporate
    • Economy & Trade
    • Stocks
    • Money
    • Agri & Mining
    • Power & Tech
    • IT & Telecom
  • Sports
    • Basketball
    • Volleyball
    • Fightsports
    • Active
    • Sports Plus
    • One Championship
    • Columns
  • Entertainment
    • TV & Movies
    • Celebrity Profiles
    • Music & Concerts
    • Digital Media
    • Columns
  • Lifestyle
    • Food
    • Culture & Media
    • Fashion
    • Health and Home
    • Leisure
    • Shopping
    • Columns
  • Pop.Life
    • Newsmakers
    • Hangouts
    • A-Pop
    • Post Its
    • Performances
    • Malls & Bazaars
    • Hobbies & Collections
  • Technology
    • Gadgets
    • Computers
    • Business
    • Tech Plus
  • MS ON THE ROAD
    • Sedan
    • SUV
    • Truck
    • Bike
    • Accessories
    • Motoring Plus
    • Commuter’s Corner
  • Home & Design
    • Residential
    • Commercial
    • Construction
    • Interior
  • Spotlight
  • Gallery
    • Photos
    • Videos
  • Events
    • Seminars
    • Exhibits
    • Community
  • Biyahero
    • Travel Features
    • Travel Reels
    • Travel Logs
  • Pets
  • Advertise with Us

© 2021 Manila Standard - Designed and Developed by Neitiviti Studios.

Welcome Back!

Login to your account below

Forgotten Password?

Retrieve your password

Please enter your username or email address to reset your password.

Log In

Install Manila Standard Web App

Install App