“Do we really want our kids to defend us fiercely, at all costs?”
An interesting aspect of the arrest of former President Rodrigo Duterte this week was the fierce position taken by his youngest child, 20-year-old Veronica, also known as Kitty. In the videos circulating online, Kitty was protective of her aging father, for whom an arrest warrant had been issued by the International Criminal Court for crimes against humanity. Mr. Duterte is being held accountable for as many as 30,000 deaths (unofficial count) under his so-called war on drugs.
The Gen Z Duterte made full use of her social media clout to show the “injustice” endured by her father at the hands of the Philippine National Police that historic day.
Veronica lived up to being Rodrigo’s daughter, Honeylet’s daughter, and Sara’s little sister. Her father, of course, was the architect of the drug war and the man who, by his own admission, was behind the Davao Death Squad. Her mother beat a cop with her mobile phone on that same day, during the arrest. Her sister the Vice President famously punched a sheriff many years ago, and has been impeached and is awaiting trial for, among other grounds, talking to an assassin to harm her political enemies.
Kitty glared at the police officers who surrounded her father. She cursed at Criminal Investigation and Detection Group director, Major General Nicholas Torre III, who was enforcing the arrest and who insisted Duterte board the plane to The Hague already – so much courtesy and special consideration had already been extended to him. Kitty’s voice could be heard angrily telling the top cop that the former President must be allowed to wait for his two other children before being whisked away to the private jet.
Online, Kitty regaled their followers with updates on how her father was being mistreated despite his poor health and old age. Illegal detention, she cried. No warrant of arrest. These were played up even though she was obviously not known for any legal expertise. She posted a photo of the private jet that was used to “kidnap” her father. She did not know where “they” were taking him, she said. She complained that her father was given just a sandwich for the hours-long flight. She posted a photo of her dress, torn at the neck, supposedly as a result of the harassment their family received.
Later, she filed a petition for habeas corpus before the Supreme Court, demanding that her father be brought back to the Philippines, pronto. And on Friday, she implored Filipinos to light a candle as the former President faces the pre-trial chamber of the ICC.
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Duterte followers are extolling the girl’s filial piety, praising her for being protective of her father. They’re the victims here, and woe to those who trampled upon the right to due process of the former President, who has done the country a lot of good.
Of course, others look at the daughter’s actions differently. Why portray a murderous man a hero and a martyr? Kitty was also criticized for complaining about the flight arrangements of her father in a private jet. Victims of extra-judicial killings were never given an opportunity to plead their case in a proper trial – their lives were just snuffed out on the spot. And how many children are now fatherless because of the drug war, children who equally deserve to spend time with their parents and be with them until their old age?
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General Torre said it best: “we can let that slide” even though Kitty had cursed him. She was a child and had much growing up to do. What about other scions of age, I wonder. They are thinking and acting the same way even though they are no longer children and even though they have supposedly grown up, and should know better. It’s likely these children grew up breathing the same air as their patriarch did, entitled to the same privileges and enjoying the same subservience from their constituents. They could have been shielded from the real consequences of their power and lifestyle.
They could either be blind or they could refuse to see. Why rock the boat when they benefit so much from the status quo? Why overthink the effects of the family’s power that makes them invincible?
Filipinos place so much premium on revering and protecting our elders. They can do no wrong in our eyes. But what if, as children grow up, become educated, meet different people, discern right from wrong, and become exposed to what the world is really like, they see that their parents as not only fallible, but living against the very virtues they lectured us to live? Are we bound by our blood relationship or filial piety even when we, as adults now know better?
There are several ways to register dissent — cutting contact, staying aloof, rejecting them outright, criticizing them in public, changing their name and hanging their head in shame. But there must be some kind of middle way where children could continue to respect their parents without condoning, much less defending, what their parents have done especially if it falls under large-scale wrongdoing. Causing the killing of thousands, for instance.
After all, isn’t the objective of parenthood raising children to think for themselves and calling out what is wrong, whoever committed those wrongs? Is it not failure when we raise children who blindly embrace causes just because they are born to them, or who fanatically take sides just because they’re family, no matter what?
It’s tough to be a good parent, but it’s arguably tougher to be a conscientious child.