By Ellicia Frentzen C. Del Mundo
The constant struggle of jugging work life and personal life often makes people forget to practice self-care, especially if a culture rewards looking after others over putting yourself first.
“Among us Filipinos, it is not common to do self-care. It is always about sacrificing, taking care of others,” lamented Jill Lim, brand manager of Sanofi Consumer Healthcare.
She continued, “At the end of the day, how can you do that when you are not in your best form?”
Lim shared her two cents during the pharmaceutical company’s virtual talk “Power to Love Yourself Completely” in celebration of International Self-care Day on July 24.
The event featured women who shared their experiences and tips for navigating self-care.
It’s more than a spa day
“Self-care can be so many things,” said Michelle Aventajado, hands-on mother to four children and founder of Momma ‘N Manila.
But more than the popular picture of “cucumbers in the eyes, spa day kind of thing”, self-care for Aventajado is having a time for yourself, “waking early enough when everybody is still sleeping and having a quiet time for myself with my Bible app, [a] cup of coffee, and just quiet”.
To truly understand self-care, She Talks co-founder and chief executive Lynn Pinugu made a distinction between self-care and self-soothing.
“Self-soothing,” she said, “are those emergency routines that we do whenever we’re feeling bad or having not such a good day”.
“When we talk about self-care, these are the things you do so that you can build resilience and emotional agility. Think of self-care as [a thing that] you do so you don’t run out of gas. You do it for the long term,” Pinugu explained.
She added, “My self-soothing would be having soup when it’s cold. My self-care routine is I always allot time to talk to someone, whether it is a therapist or a very good friend.”
Stop and rest
Aventajado is aware of the sacrificial attitude that makes us think that “we need to sacrifice everything”. Hence, she pledged during the talk to “rest when I’m tired; stop when I’m overwhelmed; pause and process”.
“When my kids see that, I think that they will learn how to take care of themselves. It’s important to set the example,” Aventajado added.
Adding to Aventajado’s statements, Pinugu said, “You can’t give what you don’t have.”
“Make sure your tank is full. You don’t wait for your tank to be completely empty before you fill it up,” she added.
Don’t let guilt get in the way
The She Talks CEO said the guilt of not working or doing any responsibilities often hindered a person from committing to taking care of themselves.
To get rid of this guilt feeling, she recommended thinking about the reason why you were investing in yourself. “Whenever I reflect on [my] why’s, it makes me realize that whenever I invest time [in] myself, at the end of the day, it helps me do my work longer. It helps make sure that I can do it with more joy. I can be more resilient with challenges that come in the future,” Pinugu shared.
Taking cue from her experience working in a corporate setting, Lim highlighted the value of setting boundaries. “Don’t feel guilty to say ‘no’ if you can’t handle it well,” she said.
Make time for yourself
Much like most plans, scheduling self-care helps maintaining the practice.
“Making a self promise is one thing, but sticking to it and really committing to it is another,” said Pinugu. Her organization, for instance, has a schedule for self-care: Mental Wellness Wednesday, during which they allot time for rest and are tasked not to work.
Lim, meanwhile, sets time for work and rest. “What works for me is to block off the actual work so I don’t work after five.”
And if life throws a curveball, Aventajado makes sure to truly commit to it. “Things will happen. I have four kids, so there’s always happening that deters me from doing that. I know if I make the time and commit to it. I’m that much more able to see it through.”