The Ten Commandments, said by the groom’s old man, appeared properly etched on marble
In times gone by, there was the tuned out belief June and July were the “marriest” month for Filipinos, recidivously romantic by nature – given the influence of the cultures of Madrid and Hollywood.
In recent years, others marched down the aisle in other months – it could have been in summer, in the monsoon or even in December as Christmas lights and sounds took the population on a pleasant, if lifting, spin.
But Catholic Church statistics suggests a decline in the number of Filipinos getting married in church and comparatively they are getting older by the dozen.
Marriage in the Catholic Church, also known as holy matrimony, is the “covenant by which a man and woman establish between themselves a partnership of the whole of life and which is ordered by its nature to the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of offspring.”
It “has been raised by Christ the Lord to the dignity of a sacrament between the baptized.”
Catholic matrimonial law, based on Roman law regarding its focus on marriage as a free mutual agreement or contract, became the basis for the marriage law of all European countries, at least up to the Reformation in the 16th century.
The canonical form of marriage began to be required with the decree Tamets issued by the Council of Trent on November 11, 1563.
The decree Ne Temere of Pope Pius X in 1907 made the canonical form a requirement even where the decree of the Council of Trent had not been promulgated.
Weddings in which both parties are Catholic Christians are ordinarily held in a Catholic church, while weddings in which one party is a Catholic Christian and the other party is a non-Catholic Christian can be held in a Catholic church or a non-Catholic Christian church.
In in the latter case permission of one’s Bishop or ordinary is required for the marriage to be free of defect of form, according to Church official sources.
In recent years, an average of nearly 178,000 people from the different strata of society tied the marital knot every year – with a dramatic plunge afterwards, the reason, generally, is that church weddings were getting more expensive sans figures actually presented.
Down the economic rung, people tend to get married because an added member—an in-law—can be an economic asset either because the addition is a member of the work force or can be an effective member in reaping economic benefits for the family.
Others get married because in previous years they bore an offspring, and getting married is among the best norms for social acceptance.
Still some get married to share health insurance benefits or ensure that each spouse is entitled to inheritance upon the other’s death.
There are of course, according to marriage counselors, others who marry purely out of love—an intense and passionate relation between a man and a woman.
The marriage is solemnized in a simple or grand ceremony—depending on the financial capability of the couple, mainly the man—that makes the couple, before the public, husband and wife, or the man’s family.
This is the formal beginning of a relation where they promise in public that they would “live together during the good or bad times, during richness and poverty, misery and health until death do them part.”
Some counselors say there are instances where both, man and woman, “need to compromise and sustain their feelings to live a harmonious life.”
Recently, at an impromptu program of a wedding at a posh hotel in Makati, we heard the groom’s old man deliver his Ten Commandments, spoken straight from the heart—commandments that could have been spoken by even the bride’s father.
The groom’s father was straight to the point, in a lingo that could be easily digested and understood by the witnesses to the church wedding a couple of hours earlier on.
“There will be Ten Commandments which my wife and I hope they will assume as the cornerstone of their married life,” the groom’s father said.
In the father’s chronological sequencing, the commandments are:
First, be humane. Have the feelings proper to a human being; be kind, compassionate and elevating.
Second, be open to each other. Don’t be fastened; be clear, and don’t keep anything from each other.
Third, be noble. Be magnanimous and generous, even as you show the highest level of excellence or worth in everything you do to enhance both your personal and professional growth.
Fourth, be orotund. You must demonstrate to each other the characteristics of fullness, of strength, not only in body but also in emotions and mind, and of smoothness and impeccable excellence in your strides.
Fifth, be respectful. You must always have the capacity for expression of esteem, of goodwill and regard, which undoubtedly will show your sense of responsibility.
Sixth, be committed. You must be consigned to the present and the future, not only of yourselves but also of your children.
Seventh, be appreciatory. Be expressive of admiration. appreciate the little things that each makes for the conjugal partnership and for your roots.
Eighth, be beneficent. You must be kind and have the disposition, always and at all times, to do good.
Ninth, be irradiant. In whatever you do, you must have the capability to emit rays of light and be immeasurable in your infiniteness toward each other.
Tenth, be equitable and estimable. Be impartial and just; and, at whatever cost, in all the things you do, be worthy of regard, esteem and honor.
The Ten Commandments, said by the groom’s old man, appeared properly etched on marble.
