Was your Valentine a little humdrum? No wrapped chocolates on your door, flower delivery, and love notes? Maybe it's time to stop living vicariously on romantic flicks you watch online on your laptop and get a little proactive with finding the love of your life. Nowadays, you can’t just wait for a lover to come along, you have to put yourself out there and make yourself known.
Get ready to put out the sign “Hello, I’m here, and I’m single” and start fidgeting on that little app called Tinder where your yoga mate met her now fiancé. Yes, Tinder. For those living under a rock and have not yet discovered it (no wonder you’re still single), the dating app has been here since 2012 and it already took the Philippine singles market by storm and probably wed several who started meeting up during its popularity a couple of years back. There are a lot of available apps for dating and meeting people but so far, Tinder still has quality profiles and it’s the easiest to use. The idea of the app is meeting people based on your first impression. Swipe their photos right if you like them, and left if you don’t; they won’t even see if you rejected them, you only get to match if he swipes on your photo to the right as well.
Okay, ready to get down to business? Now, all you have to do is download this app on your smartphone. Then, follow these tips:
Smile for the camera!
First things first. Set up your profile by putting the most attractive photos of you. The key is making it real. Don’t use Camera360 and fake your shining shimmering glow, choose photos that really look the same as you in real life, and look at the camera and show your face – no one will swipe a shoe. Upload more than two photos so people can get their first impression of you, so make sure you’re not in the washroom and your sinampay (laundry hanging on a clothesline) can be seen photobombing your winning shot.
Post a description
Share a little bit about yourself, but not too much that they would know your entire biography. Write something interesting about you that can spark a conversation. “Oh, you’re a thriathlete! I’m currently training to join Ironman. Let’s train together sometime!” But be careful not to divulge crucial personal and contact information as you don’t want crazy ass stalkers suddenly appearing at your door, or worse, a burglar.
Try and try until you succeed
So you have a swanky new profile, extended your reach even across the Pacific Ocean and you still haven’t found anyone you like. Worse, there’s still no match even after half of your finger is already numb from swiping right. Do not cry a river; just keep swiping right until you find your match. If there’s still no match after a whole day’s worth of Tindering, try again the next day, or superlike someone for him to notice you. Patience is key.
Why are you on Tinder?
We’ve heard funny and ridiculous stories about some friends’ Tinder encounter and, sometimes, people are there not looking for the love of their life – some are set for a casual fling, some forget it’s not OLX where they can sell their products or Linkedn looking for a job. So, ask away, “Why are you on Tinder?” and if you don’t like their answer, unmatch. No harm done.
Make conversation
If you will wait for Mr Right Match to talk to you, then by God, go back to your apartment and eat your feelings away. Don’t expect your matches to initiate chats all the time. It’s an app, make conversation, and don’t be shy to be the first one to talk.
Look them up
Now, no harm in looking up a bit of info about your match; their Facebook and Instagram is linked to the app, so find ways to look for them to know if they’re real. Just don’t be a creepy single white female, stalking them to the point that you know everything about them.
Switch on your lie detector
So they say they’re only 30. Remember photos can be manipulated. Ask them small details like when they graduated or which UAAP basketball players were popular during their day. Liars can actually be caught this way.
Act like you are interested
It’s not enough to be an interesting person, you also have to be genuinely interested in them, too. Ask about their day, their work, their hobbies, their quirks. And remember what you guys talked about, and never mistake your current match from your last week’s match.
Know your boundaries
Tinder is not a place to air your dirty laundry or ask your matches about financial problems and traumatic life experiences. Get to know each other first before meet-ups. Don’t give yourself easily and divulge your mobile number or address to them the moment you matched – you might end up with a psycho killer and they’re on Tinder to purge and not to fall in love.
Don’t arrange meet-ups the moment you match, get to know him first and see if you’re just wasting your time or not. Take some time to chat with your match to see if you click. If you don’t, abort mission.
The meet
Don’t ask your match to pick you up at home. Meet somewhere you will feel safe. Be nice and respectful, show him what momma brought you up to be. And, just because you’re the girl, it won’t hurt to offer to split the bill. If he insists on taking the tab, that’s when you let him. If he accepts your offer, don’t take it against him.
If you didn’t like your meet-up and he’s not what you expected him to be, then say goodbye nicely and un-match him on your Tinder. If you like him, well, that’s already up to you. Just don’t look too eager as you may look desperate and you might end up being ghosted after the date.
If all else fails, dust yourself off and try again – and pray. Because we all need divine intervention.
So there. It is amazing how a mobile phone and connectivity can open up a lot of opportunities for your love life. Now, get those fingers exercised! Download the app and Tinder away.
