Sex is a topic that Filipinos don’t usually talk about in the open. We’ve always been prudes that way. In a way, we still are. Knowledge is power, and the lack of it is probably part of the reason behind teenage and unwanted pregnancies, as well as the alarmingly continuous and rapid rise of HIV infections in the Philippines.
But society is loosening up and we’re now a lot more comfortable discussing our sex lives – at the water cooler, over coffee or beer, on the Internet. Millennials are notably vocal about their views on the matter and willing to share their experiences.
To know more about Filipino sexuality and attitudes towards sex, particularly the millennial kind, The Gist spoke to some friends in their twenties and early thirties. We’re obviously not identifying them by name because while these folks may be happy to talk to us, they don’t want their parents reading about their sexcapades.
First topic: cherry-popping. The question we posed is “At what age did you lose your virginity? Do you think it was too early, too late or just the right time?” Here are the responses:
"I lost my V-card when I was 17 years old. I guess it was just the right time. I, for one, felt like it was normal. It was something special but it didn’t change who I was. I also thought that I was okay not being a virgin anymore since it was part of growing up. You’ll lose it one way or another."
– F, male
" I lost it when I was 16. I was in a relationship with the person so it felt okay during that time.
Then we broke up in college and I was on a dry spell for more than five years. Looking back, it would have been better if I gave it to someone more special. I’m not saying I’m for or against premarital sex. But I’m for knowing the dos and don’ts – being protected and having a check-up."
– C, female
"I lost it at 14. It was too early but I felt like it was a rite of passage that I just had to get over with. The experience wasn’t satisfying. But as I grew up, I understood m ore that it’s really like that sometimes."
– B, male
"I was 15, way too early. I didn’t really feel anything emotionally. I mean, it already happened. It was so surreal that time.
I don’t even remember the experience.
I just know that it was full of firsts, including my first real kiss, so the memory has sentimental value even if it’s a really vague one."
– A, male
"It happened when I was 18. Just right. It was kind of special. I never really cared about locker-room talk about ‘banging chicks’ earlier than that. I wanted it
to be with someone I liked enough."
– H, male
" I was 29. It was with my boyfriend and it was at the right time. I didn’t look for sex before that because I (did not) only want to have sex in a relationship."
– G, female
" I lost my virginity when I was 19 and I don’t think it was too early nor too late. I think it was proper timing because I did it when I was ready and with someone I loved."
– I, female
" I was 27. It was perfect. I really wanted it to be with someone I will not regret giving it to.I had an instinctive feeling that if I just let someone take it away from me, something would be lost that I would never be able to recover."
– E, female
" Oral, Grade 3: too early. Penetrative, college: just right. "
– D, male
According to conventional wisdom, males tend to lose their virginity earlier than females; and that the latter group associates sexual activity with emotions more than the former. This casual survey supports those theories. We also notice that individuals who reported having sex for the first time later in their teenage years are more at peace with the timing and those who did it even later think of the act as a positive experience. Now we want to know – what do you think?
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