What doesn’t kill you will make you stronger, so they say.
But I think the most important part of this aphorism from the 19th-century German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche is often left unsaid, and thus we fail to consider it: only those who are strong, or those who possess inside them the grit that makes them disposed to relying on strength (e.g. physical, emotional, spiritual, mental) to survive, will emerge stronger after adversity.
The weak, who survive adversity is simply a survivor, who will eventually succumb either to his wounds or to stronger adversity once that has come to pass.
The secret of the strong becoming stronger is the ability to embrace the suffering. Those who are weak seek to be relieved of, or avoid, suffering at any cost, and thus denied the wisdom gleaned from enduring.
Dr. Nava R. Silton, who specializes in developmental psychology, wrote in the book Scientific Concepts Behind Happiness, Kindness, and Empathy in Contemporary Society: “Embracing suffering most likely enables us to become courageous and disciplined in our quest.”
This will be the context for both Denver and Boston as they now grieve.
Despite a similar conference finals runner-up finish, I can’t help but think that somehow, the way Denver is processing the experience contrasts with how Boston is dealing with their failure, at least that is how I see it.
I think losing the conference finals will bring Denver closer together. And it is all because of the ability to embrace suffering, and how they do it: with leaders up front and the rest of the team eager and willing to be shepherded, courageous and disciplined. No finger-pointing because no one is to blame. No feeling of regret from not giving it their best, because they all did. What they lost – the opportunity to become champions – is something they can have again next year. What they lack this season (specific skillsets, roster depth, etc.) they can remedy before next season’s battles begin. Their faith in one another makes them strong, and so they will suffer in strength and become stronger. They are in good hands with Jamal Murray and Nicola Jokic conscious in their joint leadership role.
On the other hand, I think losing the conference finals pushes Boston to its breaking point. And again, it is all because of the ability to embrace suffering. This is not to say Boston is incapable of embracing suffering – they can, and they’ve had their share in recent years, and I think that is part of the problem: maybe they have had too much and had too little leadership; they’ve endured suffering for so long and after all that, still without reward or recompense. Despite the promise and potential, the strength to survive their biggest adversity has eluded them again and again, and now the lessons of suffering have turned sour, leaving them only with resentment, bitterness, and frustration.
What didn’t kill them has fractured them. It will break them apart. And not too long from today, this core of the Boston Celtics will ‘die’, in one form or another.
Why? Because despite the talent, it is clear something is sorely missing. I think it is leadership, particularly from someone in the image of the Nietzsche survivor-leader archetype, as described in his book Ecce Homo:
“He divines remedies for injuries; he knows how to turn serious accidents to his own advantage; that which does not kill him makes him stronger… He instinctively gathers his material from all he sees, hears, and experiences. He is a selective principle; he rejects much…he honors the things he chooses, the things he acknowledges, the things he trusts…He believes neither in ‘ill-luck’ nor ‘guilt’; he can digest himself and others; he knows how to forget – he is strong enough to make everything turn to his own advantage.”
Equal opportunity basketball is good, but the downside is relying on leadership by committee, which is ineffective and dangerous if different players have different notions of what is best for the team, or worse if those who are unfit for leadership assumes this role, while those who should lead are disengaged from this task.
The Celtics need someone pragmatic, but with gravitas, someone, who could mentor Jayson Tatum on how to become a real leader, on the court, in the locker room, and in the mind of his teammates.
Winning the Eastern Conference has been Boston’s biggest adversity many times in recent years; it hasn’t killed them; nonetheless, they are dead on the water.
The ship is sturdy, but there is no sail.
