For many Filipinos, love often means sacrifice—providing for family, working long hours, and putting everyone else first. But at a forum organized by Insular Life at Wolfgang’s Premier Lounge in Quezon City, the discussion challenged that familiar story with a simple and sobering reminder that love also means preparing for yourself.
“Real love is when you cut that intergenerational dependency,” said Insular Life senior vice president and chief marketing officer Rosalyn “Gae” Martinez. “Because we love our children, we shouldn’t depend on them. Let them have their own financial freedom, too.”
Her words struck a nerve among guests who, like many in the country’s so-called “sandwich generation,” find themselves caring for both parents and children while pushing their own needs aside.
The idea that children should one day shoulder their parents’ expenses is a deeply ingrained Filipino belief that the forum sought to rethink.
Held on Oct. 28, the event presented findings from the Retirement Readiness Index, which showed that Filipinos scored only 47 out of 100 in terms of preparedness for retirement. The figure, according to Insular Life senior assistant vice president Abigail Magtibay, is not just a number but a wake-up call.
“Retirement isn’t just about finances,” she said. “It’s emotional, it’s social. It’s shaped by health, family, and our mindset toward aging.”
To help Filipinos gauge their own readiness, the forum also introduced the Retirement Readiness Index Tool, a digital platform where users can check their personal retirement score.
Magtibay said the goal is to make retirement a topic that families can talk about openly.
“Those who discuss retirement with their families tend to be more ready for it,” she explained. “Let’s normalize talking about retirement. Let’s make it part of everyday family conversations.”
That hesitation to talk about money and aging, said Insular Life chief transformation and risk officer Efren Caringal Jr., comes from cultural habits that don’t always work in our favor.
“We have great Filipino values like bayanihan, but others like utang na loob or mamayana don’t lend well to retirement planning,” he said.
Caringal pointed out that many adults still assume their children will take care of them, which creates a cycle of financial dependency.
“They’re not planning for their own retirement now and are just hoping their children will support them,” he said. “Sometimes that’s not enough.”
He added that through workplace programs promoting financial wellness, Filipinos can start building healthier money habits and long-term security.
For Insular Life senior vice president and chief product and innovation officer Jose Eduardo Ang, it’s never too late to begin.
“It’s never too late for a lifetime of security,” he said. “We’ve seen people close to retirement ask, ‘What can I still do?’ The answer is, you can still plan. You can still prepare.”
Ang encouraged mid-career professionals and older workers to start wherever they are.
“Retirement shouldn’t be a finish line,” he said. “It should be a stage in life where you finally enjoy the rewards of all your hard work.”
In the end, the forum underscored that the truest expression of love is not about depending on family. It is about freeing them from that burden.
As Martinez put it, “Let’s take care of ourselves so our children can live their lives fully, too.”
