“That is why my heart burns as I mourn my crucified dream”
In the Gospel narrative last Sunday from St. Luke, the risen Christ, the disciples who had just encountered Jesus on the road to Emmaus and recognized him in the breaking of bread are in the midst of sharing their experience when Jesus appears to them.
He who had truly risen from the dead mysteriously stands before them inviting them to look at his hands and feet and to touch and see that he had risen and walks now in their midst.
The disciples are amazed beyond belief to the point of being startled and terrified, assuming he is a ghost.
But it is Jesus’ words to the disciples that convey the heart of the Easter mystery into the depths of their hearts and minds.
Jesus greets them with his divine gift of peace when he says, “Peace be with you!” Then Jesus calms their troubled souls when he asks, “Why are you troubled? And why do questions arise in your hearts?”
We are living in a troubled world that engenders a stressful existence.
Often, we are overwhelmed with anxiety, but just as the Gospel will tell us, it is in recognizing the risen Lord even in these troubled times that we can find and experience true joy.
It is in recognizing the hand of the hidden Lord that we discover the peace that calms us down.
Surely, in troubled times, our tendency is to complain, regret, or finger-point.
We tend to brood in our melancholy and sadness.
From the human perspective, we ask ourselves — how can there be happiness and joy in the midst of anguish?
When every day we are bombarded by negativity and pessimism. yet the Gospel tells us that if we only know how to open our eyes and hearts, we can see that God, in his tenderness and compassion, continues to accompany us even in the midst of poverty, nakedness, and persecution.
Recognizing the real presence of the risen Lord in our situation will give us reason to be joyful, knowing that Jesus has resurrected and is risen from the dead.
God himself knows what pain and suffering but with his resurrection he is telling us if only we believe we too can conquer sickness and even death.
The Gospel tells us that when the disciples recognized Jesus, all their fears began to dissipate, and replaced by irreprehensible joy!
Often, life can be taxing; stressful and many become overcome with despair and loneliness.
Sometimes, we may feel helpless.
But just as the Gospel will tell us, it is in recognizing the risen Lord even in these troubled times that we can still find and experience true joy.
It is his kind of peace that soothes our spirits amidst this turmoil.
The gospel narrative also tells us that when the disciples begin to recognize Jesus, their hearts burn, and instantly set out to tell the others that Jesus rises.
The disciples start to understand that death is not the last word on the life of each one of us as we cannot be ‘held in its power.’
Recognizing the real presence of the risen Lord gives us reason to be joyful, knowing Jesus has resurrected and is risen from the dead.
God himself knows what pain and suffering but with his resurrection he is telling us if only we believe we too can conquer sickness and even death.
These past 10 days have been challenging as I had to confront health and personal crises.
I had to make tough and difficult decisions, including letting go of a dream project in Mindanao that I thought would be my final legacy in the field of human rights, support for the Lumad and especially indigenous children, and environmental and climate justice.
It was a dream project I shared with others and we had worked on it intensely for the last 12 months even with my cancer diagnosis.
I had actually given up almost all my other work, including most of my teaching, to work on this project full time.
But it was clear last week that I had to let go while continuing some of its components.
I was filled with an overwhelming sense of loss and sadness when this decision was made with my main partner.
I rebelled at first, angry even, but quickly as I understood what was happening and no one was at fault in this, I realized that loving more here meant letting go.
Above all, having a resurrection lens helped me understand where I was.
I am in my own personal road to Emmaus, surprised by God with a gift that saved me from perhaps even a worse situation.
In this road, I am guaranteed to meet the resurrected Christ, who will walk with me, our Messiah whom John Shea has described as the “arsonist of the heart.”
Of course, that is why my heart burns as I mourn my crucified dream.
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