Lazy, conceited, entitled. These are but some of the many unsavory words used to describe Millennials. Whether these merit truth is highly debatable. Regardless, what cannot be refuted is that Millennials are also a spirited, immensely creative, and intellectual bunch – a generation born during the technological boom that has made them open and receptive to new ideas and change.
Technology has had a major and direct influence in the development of Millennials as individuals. Look at Facebook, Skype, and even Tinder, which have all reshaped the very way people think, build relationships, and connect with the world.
Indeed, Millennials are such an interesting group, and as they come of age and start families of their own, a new facet of their identity opens up for study – Millennials as parents.
How will these creative intellectuals fare as heads of their own households? And how will they raise their children, called Generation Z?
Here we look at five distinct characteristics of Millennials, and see how these will influence the way they raise their kids.
1. Millennials: masters of multi-tasking
Millennials have mastered this skill to the hilt, thanks to technology, which offers them not only the convenience, but efficiency to be more productive. The Millennial’s mantra assuredly is: “I can do more.”
It’s no longer an odd sight seeing a Millennial juggling so many tasks at one time. A work-at-home Millennial mom may be found parked at the cafe typing an entry for her blog (one of the many ways she earns an income), while engaged in a meeting on Skype with a potential client based halfway around the world. And she’s doing this while still keeping a close eye on her household through constant text messaging with her yayas at home.
“I think we’ve trained ourselves to take on so much, because we’ve been raised to believe that we can do anything – and everything. Just look at how much it has changed for us women. Before, during the times of our parents, if you were a woman, it was either you become a housewife or a career woman. Now, it’s acceptable to WANT to have it all – a successful career, a happy marriage, a beautiful family, and even time for yourself and for your friends,” shares Mickey Alingarog, a 33-year-old mother and entrepreneur.
However, many mothers understand that this “fast-paced, multi-tasking” lifestyle may not necessarily be the best way to go when raising kids, as hyper multi-tasking – amplified and enabled by technology – may have a downside.
“I do realize that our lives are already so fast-paced now, and as technology evolves, it will become more so. I do worry that our children will get too caught up in the frenzy, and won’t know how to slow down,” adds Alingarog. So she, like many other millennial parents, has made it a point to set aside time where she’s detached from her phones and the Internet, to be with her kids. “Hopefully, my daughter will learn that though I multi-task, when it’s about her and family, they are the priority.”
2. Millennials are sophisticated, tech-savvy individuals, who use technology as a tool to empower themselves.
From crowd-sourcing answers on how to discipline a tantrum-throwing toddler, to seeking information about progressive home schooling programs online, the Millennials have learned to harness the great power that is the Internet for their use and benefit.
It is without a doubt that Gen Z will take on after their Millennial parents, growing up to become “digital natives” themselves. Gen Z may even surpass their parents, becoming more sophisticated users. But while the perks of being tech-savvy are many, there is a potential downside to this.
One of the immediate challenges that Millennial parents are addressing, as early as now, is ensuring that Gen Z children don’t lose the essential socio-emotional skills needed to build relationships. As Gen Z children become more dependent and immersed in technology, their ability to nurture a “real” connection with others, especially in face-to-face interactions, may be affected.
“I think when it comes to technology, the challenge of our children now would be knowing what is real and what is virtual. For example, children can now create a virtual personality, which may cause confusion about their self-identity later on since your virtual personality is very different from who you are in ‘real’ life,” shared Izza Ansis-Sy, a 32-year-old mom of two. “For me, I just don’t want it to come to a point that my children are more comfortable talking to people over the net and on their smartphones, than having a real ‘in-person’ conversation.”
This is why many Millennial parents are trying to teach their children about responsible use. While others have laid down general rules, limiting the use of technology and media at home, others have taken on more extreme measures like one mom, Cherry Malonzo, who has decided to raise her two children in a TV-free household.
“We use instant message and social networking sites to stay connected, to entertain ourselves, to seek information, but I still want my kids to enjoy a ‘real’ childhood where they will have memories of playing with other children outside,” shared Nyke Lim.
3. Millennials have a more fluid take on career path, believing that one is free to explore other opportunities and even pursue professions that are a little unconventional.
The workplace is one of those things that have seen a drastic change in recent decades. People no longer need to limit themselves to office-based, 9 to 5 jobs since (yet again) technology and the Internet have opened up new ways to conduct business. Today, you see more and more people becoming online entrepreneurs and work-at-home moms and dads who, thanks to the flexibility of their work arrangements, can be more hands-on parents. Even international corporations like P&G are becoming more relaxed, allowing their employees to work from home on certain days.
This being said, Gen Z kids find themselves in a very encouraging environment where Millennial parents are supportive of non-traditional, unconventional career paths. While the Gen X and the Baby Boomer generations would have pushed their children to seek more stable 9 to 5 jobs and lucrative professions such as becoming a lawyer, doctor or engineer, Millennials may be more open to their children paving paths of their own.
“It’s cliché, I know, but more than anything, I want my children to pursue their passions and do what makes them happy. But I would temper this with a little dose of reality. I’ll teach them how to be financially smart, too – to know the value of money, how to make it, how to grow and manage it, etc. I’d like my kids to pursue what they love and make a kickass business out of it,” adds Iiko Paraguison-Asuque, an online entrepreneur and part-time musician.
4. Millennials are comfortable expressing themselves, and are open to dialogue and the exchange of ideas.
This is a particularly distinct characteristic of Millennials. Thanks to global interconnectedness, Millennials are unafraid to ask for help, and to collaborate and share ideas freely.
And like how they can pick and choose songs for their morning yoga playlist, Millennial parents have taken on a “hand-picked” and “custom-fit” parenting style.
Millennial parents may seek information online and ask advice from parents and peers, but they will adopt only those which they see best fits and resonates with their values. Most Millennial parents believe that there is no one “correct” way to raise kids, and so what that this translates into is a more open, accepting, and forgiving type of parenting approach.
“When I have a problem or a question about parenting, I usually go to Google. But I don’t immediately believe everything I read online, even those on mommy forums because parenting is so personal. At the end of the day, what matters most is what my husband and I think is the best for our daughter,” shares Laira Yoo.
Open-mindedness and understanding will also play a big role in the value formation of Gen Z children as many societal norms and concepts of the “traditional family” have since changed.
“Today, we see more non-traditional family units, formed by blended families, divorce, surrogate pregnancies, and gay marriage, and such. I’d like to think Millennials are the generation that embraced and celebrated all forms of love and definitions of family,” shared Sheila Veluz (not her real name), a proud LGBT member who is raising a daughter with her partner. “So we will have to guide our children and answer carefully any of the questions they have pertaining to family.”
This open-mindedness also translates into opening lines of communication, with Millennial parents encouraging their children to engage in dialogue. “I come from a very traditional family, where whatever our parents said was law. I would want to keep the communication between me and my child open. I want him to grow up knowing he can always talk to us, and say what’s on his mind freely,” shares Grace Maulion.
5. Millennials value time and prioritize happiness.
This may seem like a general statement, but it reflects profoundly on what motivates Millennials. While the Baby Boomers and Gen X equate their success and the success of their children with a checklist of must-haves like a family, a house, a car, and financial stability, Millennials define success and happiness quite differently.
“I think for Millennials, happiness is a more personal thing. While we may want to have one or all those things on the list, we know that these don’t necessarily define our success or happiness. Perhaps, what we aspire for is to come to that point in our life where we feel contentment,” shared Mickey Alingarog. In this sense, Gen Z babies may perhaps be much like their parents, seeking fulfillment and meaning in their jobs more than financial security.
“When we started our family, my husband and I both agreed that we would let our child enjoy her life, and not put too much pressure on grades. I personally believe that in reality, being street smart and being ma-diskarte are both important when she grows up. Also, we want to teach our daughter to enjoy life and not be so uptight. We don’t want to be so hard on her, when she commits mistakes,” shares Laira Yoo.
The Millennials are already an interesting study of the times and how technology (more than anything) has molded them to become a unique and distinct population. So what are we to expect from Gen Z, the generation born into the “crisis period of terrorism, climate change and global recession”? It’s fascinating and exciting to imagine what kind of persons Gen Z children will become. They are/will be perhaps the most connected, educated, and sophisticated generation ever… and it’s only a matter of years before we see it all play out.