“Ampon ka lang! (You’re just adopted!),” spoken with anger and disgust, is what we usually hear in telenovelas and films. The stigma in adoption and foster care affects children and their families in more ways than one.
Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrician Jan Harold Sia of Makati Medical Center shares some insights on the significance of promoting and supporting proper healthcare for adopted and foster care children and their families.
“Adoption or going through foster care changes a child’s world,” Sia points out. “These children are often ignored. We don’t hear about them because nobody talks about them and their emotional challenges. It is high time we recognize and provide care and attention for these children and their families.”
Foster care is a temporary care provided to minors (younger than 18 years old) who have lost their parents, or who cannot be cared for by their parents. He or she is placed in the care of a “foster parent” or “foster family” until his or her permanent placement with a family either through reunification with natural parents or through adoption.
Adoption refers to the legal act where an adult becomes the guardian of a minor and gains the rights and responsibilities of a parent at the same time terminating the legal rights and responsibilities of the minor’s biological parents. Foster care sometimes lead to legal adoption.
Adopted children or children in foster care have experiences that they may not know how to properly communicate. “Sadly, the reality is most of these children are victims of neglect, abuse or abandonment. These childhood experiences are significant risk factors for developmental and behavioral problems,” says Sia, who cautions that being adopted or being under foster care does not automatically mean the child will have developmental, behavioral or mental health problems. That is why it is important to know the child’s story, first and foremost.
According to the Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD), abandonment and neglect are the top two cases of child abuse that they receive. More than 2,000 cases were turned over to the DSWD in 2014. Between the years 2009 to 2015, over 4,000 Filipino children were declared up for adoption. Given these cases and the rising number of children being taken out of the streets and into the foster care system, the government also stresses the importance of having these kids taken and accepted into loving homes.
To answer the question “How are we going to tell our child that he or she is adopted?” Sia recommends to introduce the word “adoption” or the Filipino word “ampon” into the child’s vocabulary as early as possible. Later on, parents can introduce the word’s meaning and the concept of adoption in a manner that matches the child’s developmental level and understanding, and explain that it comes from a place of love and acceptance.
“We want to make sure that the children are healthy physically, mentally and emotionally,” says Sia. “As for the adoptive parents, we can help them through the challenges of adoption. They need a venue where they can safely and freely talk about their feelings and concerns about adopting a child and about being adoptive parents, and how to communicate with and become a parent to a child who may be emotionally or psychologically fragile. For those who already have biological children, we can talk about how this decision will impact their family relationship.”
“On the other hand, for the birth parents or birth mother who ‘lost’ a child through adoption, they need help in coming to terms with their feelings of loss and grief,” Sia continues.
“It all begins with providing support by letting these children and families know that there are people who can help and support them throughout this journey,” he says.
“MakatiMed provides healthcare for all, but also recognizes the unique health needs of children and youth who are adopted or who are in foster care,” adds Rita Espiritu-Dolendo, MD, chairperson of the Department of Pediatrics.
“MakatiMed is open to those families in this situation who wish to seek consultations and support from experts,” she concludes.
For more information, contact MakatiMed On-Call at (02) 8888-999, email [email protected] or visit www.makatimed.net.ph.