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Friday, March 29, 2024

That thing called soul-searching

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Many will say that they’re not bandwagoning when they go to some trendy out-of-town destination to do some “soul-searching” or some other solitary activity that basically means the same thing. Mankind has been soul-searching since forever, with people going off to exotic places to be alone and re-calibrate their lives.

But if you really think about it, that doesn’t quite hold true among us Filipinos. We’re a clannish people and function best in groups. We are built for companionship and rarely embark on solo ventures and adventures – though that’s not to say that we can’t and haven’t done anything by ourselves.

However, leaving everything behind if only for a few days is now something that’s getting increasingly popular among the millennial set – and I would argue that it’s driven by the insanely pivotal movie That Thing Called Tadhana, which is, at least in the minds of anyone under 35, the story of our lives. Of course, Tadhana isn’t really a tale of self-discovery and being alone (that plot is more Eat Pray Love) but it does make us see domestic locations as places conducive for sorting out our internal issues and conflicts. And don’t we all sometimes feel like we’re weighed down by a whole lot of emotional baggage?

Suddenly, the prospect of doing exactly what the film’s two leads did seems so attractive. And by doing it alone, you’re asserting your independence, your adulting skills, your individuality, and your personal sense of self. Besides, what are the chances that you’d find a charming and completely trustworthy stranger to go with you on the fly? And that’s where the line between reality and fiction is drawn, but I digress.

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My theory is that even before the movie came out, we’ve all had thoughts of going on a solo vacation but most of us don’t go through with it because of a whole spectrum of fears. But the movie perhaps helped in giving us courage – that it can be done, that we can do it, that we won’t look stupid or lonely doing it, that other people are doing it as well.

And so we do it.

Being one of those foolish people under 35, I decided to take a week-long out-of-town trip alone beginning New Year’s Eve – arguably one of the most social of holidays. I didn’t plan or book anything in advance because that would defeat the purpose. So I just took off, chartered myself to a beach (I’m not much of a mountain person) and looked for accommodations on the spot. Accompanying me were Paulo Coelho (the novel Adultery) and Troye Sivan (the album Blue Neighbourhood). (It’s an odd combination, I know, but I’m quite odd. Haha!)

My purpose was quite simple. I know that 2016 will be an extremely busy year and I just wanted to clear my head and rejuvenate my brain cells in preparation for all the impending craziness at work. So I grabbed the opportunity by the balls and went with it. It was my first personal trip alone and like Alma Moreno, I had a lot of reservations. But I figured that if I don’t do it now, it will be a major what-if for the rest of the year. And doing it on a holiday that’s all about togetherness and spending time with family and friends ups the ante because it exaggerates the being alone part of it. Which, I guess, was my challenge to myself.

I’m not going to get into details of my trip but all I can say is that it was worth it. Did I find my proverbial soul? I have no clue. However, I was able to do things that I never thought I could and it did give me a lot of drive, confidence and positive thoughts and emotions to hopefully tide me over in the next 12 months. It was a great and truly enriching experience, and if you have the time and opportunity to do the same, I highly recommend that you go for it.

Follow me on Twitter and Instagram @EdBiado

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