I’ve never been good at goodbyes. Saying goodbye to my bed in the morning is never easy. Saying goodbye to my kids as I drop them off at school is never just a quick wave; somehow, I have to get more than the three-letter “Bye” in there, following it up with “Have a great day, hon!” or “Be good, okay?” In the next month or two, I’m going to have to wave goodbye to one of my sons who’ll be spending half the year studying halfway around the globe, and I can’t even begin to tell you how much I dread that.
But it doesn’t have to be that way, does it? Because, really, isn’t every ending also a beginning? And aren’t beginnings just so exciting, so wonderful, so full of promise? Show me someone who wouldn’t love the chance to erase a blackboard full of scribbles and begin on a blank slate.
All this talk of blank slates and endings and beginnings calls to mind a certain piece of white paper that my eldest sister likes to pass around to all her siblings every New Year’s Eve, with the instruction to write down three New Year’s Resolutions.
Oh how I dislike that blank piece of paper.
Because, okay, I confess: I’m never good at making New Year’s Resolutions. In all the years that I’ve made them, I’ve never been able to really keep them. Do I see anyone raising their hands and saying “Me, too! Me, too!”?
Because you know, if you’re with me on this, it turns out we’re actually in good company. A quick Google search led to me to the Statistic Brain Research Institute, which states that only eight percent of those who make New Year’s resolutions are successful in achieving them. The data also says that 75 percent manage to keep their resolutions through the first week, but by the sixth month, only 46 percent are still clinging on for dear life to them. Yet the Institute also declares that people who explicitly make resolutions are 10 times more likely to attain their goals than people who don’t actively make resolutions.
Everyone knows that having a goal is a good thing. So clearly, it’s a good thing to make resolutions. But resolutions only count if they get fulfilled. So then it seems the secret to being successful in making and keeping resolutions is… don’t make them on New Year’s Day!
Okay, now that we’re done laughing, let’s get serious. Because I actually think we may be on to something here.
See, judging from past experience, my New Year’s resolutions tend to be large and grand and awesome. (Well, when we’re toasting away the end of the year and greeting a new one with rich wine and good cheer, we tend to favor the grandiose, right?)
The thing is, after the eve’s buzz has faded, we find ourselves facing a series of ordinary normal days. And as we go about living those uneventful mundane days, we’re bound to forget about our resolutions or we’re bound to fail at least once, because we happen to be human and imperfection is kind of built in into our systems. And when we do fail, we find it’s easy to give up. And when that happens, we go back to our old ways, excusing ourselves by muttering, “Oh well, New Year’s resolutions are always doomed to fail anyway.”
And maybe some are. Especially when they’re large and grand and awesome, and perhaps sort of impossible to achieve in the first place, like promising to lose 10 pounds and fit into a Size 2 by February (honey, there ain’t no way that’s happening in my world). But if I say, “I’m going to stay away from rice today”… now there’s something that’s friendlier, more doable, more reachable. If I am successful, then great! I get to pat myself on the back and do it all over again the next day, and perhaps by the end of the year I really will have lost 10 pounds.
But if I fail and end up sneaking in a tablespoon or two of rice? Well, then I can always renew my promise and resolve to begin again the next day, channeling my inner Scarlett O’Hara: “After all, tomorrow is another day.”
I really do think replacing New Year’s resolutions with daily resolutions would work! See, there’s something greatly encouraging about making bite-sized resolutions. They’re easier to keep, easier to accomplish, easier to measure. And because we make them on a daily, instead of yearly, basis, there’s a greater chance that we’ll be more successful in achieving them. It’s one thing to shut our eyes tight, make a wish, and attempt to make a huge leap across the great divide. But there’s something to be said about taking it one sure step at a time, one foot in front of the other, till we get to the top of the mountain. Who was the wise one who promised that slow and steady wins the race?
So, you know, this time tomorrow, I think I’ll take that white sheet of paper and instead of writing down three New Year’s resolutions, I’ll be making only one… for that day. And then another, and then another. So 365 days from now, I’d have attempted 365 resolutions, and with the law of probabilities on my side, I’m willing to bet that I’d have more success with at least half of them than I would have had with the New Year’s three for the whole year.
See, New Year’s Eve doesn’t have to be about endings and beginnings. It can also be all about beginning and beginning again: day after day, renewing the struggle and the determination to do better in little things. Until we arrive at the end of the year and look back and see that we’ve come a long way, and that all the little things have added up to a great big thing after all. Now that’s the kind of ending and beginning that I like because it’s hopeful and it’s positive and it’s happy.
So here’s to a happy New Year, to you and yours, from me and my 365 days of happy new day’s resolutions! May you be successful in each one of yours, too!
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