"Change is hard but it can be done."
"Change is hard but it can be done."
Toilet talk spread like wildfire after the video showing the discrimination incident against transwoman Gretchen Diez went viral. You have to give it to Diez for her presence of mind and cool temperament throughout the incident. She was her Ms. Congeniality self while documenting the event. This showed people an example of how harsh some of us can be against those we do not understand.
Quezon City has an anti-discrimination against LGBTQI+ ordinance. At least there, members of the community should not experience what Diez did but it still happened. Obviously, there is a need for the local government unit to do a massive education campaign on the ordinance because changing ways of doing things and how we regard people are long-term undertakings.
While culture is hard to change, it can be done. The incremental changes so far achieved by the feminist movements worldwide are living evidence to this. While there is a lot that remains to be done, norms are slowly changing towards the recognition that women’s rights are human rights.
The LGBTQI+ struggle is similar in the sense that it aims for a kind of culture that respects and recognizes LGBTQI+ rights as equal with those of all persons. This means that discriminatory and abusive practices based on sexual orientation, gender identity and expression (SOGIE) are eliminated.
While changing culture is a long process, having and properly implementing laws that challenge, reduce, and when needed, criminalize abuse and discrimination, significantly help. Laws inform and influence culture. They help hasten the achievement of difficult change that would, otherwise, take much longer to happen. There is no magic trick that will instantaneously create changes.
Preventing and reducing discrimination and abuse committed against those in the LGBTQI+ community, as well as recognizing their rights, and equitably addressing needs are major reasons why the SOGIE Equality Bill is filed in both Houses of Congress. The HOR has passed this bill on Third and Final Reading last Congress but the Senate derailed it.
The acute lack of understanding on what the LGBTQI+ community is fighting for was quite evident even among our senators during the first committee hearing held recently. Sadly, they are the ones who will decide on the fate of the bill. However, the willingness to learn shown by a few of the senators should be recognized unlike others like Pacquiao and Lapid who reject the bill outright.
As expected, the “toilet question” was raised during the hearing. This time, it was Sen. Bato de la Rosa who expressed concern that “real” women might feel uncomfortable with having transwomen in the same restroom. He also pointed out the possibility of men dressing up as women to harass women. The Committee Chair and the resource persons corrected Bato and said that transwomen are real women. They also very adequately responded to Bato’s toilet use concerns.
While we are on “toilet talk,” let me say that in an ideal world, toilet segregation is unnecessary. After all, this is our practice in our homes. Sure, we trust our families so we don’t mind sharing toilets with them. But abuse also happens between family members, right? Most cases of Violence Against Women (VAW) happen in homes and committed by male members of the family. Therefore, abuse and violence is not about the segregation of toilets. It is about people who believe that they can abuse others, and act accordingly.
Thus, Bato’s point that men can dress as women, enter the restroom and go on abusing women does not hold water. And, if abuse happens, then those minding public toilets should be ready to respond. But the abuse is not because of the toilet, it is because someone wants to abuse another.
If demanding for genderless toilets that anyone can use is too much at this point, other measures can be taken but definitely transwomen should be welcome in women’s toilets. As very aptly put during the committee hearing, transwomen are WOMEN.
Personally, I still have to develop the confidence in having men in the same toilet I am in. My knowledge on VAW has a lot to do with this. I know that VAW can happen anywhere and the abuser can be any man. However, I also recognize that a significant number of VAW cases are perpetrated by men who are not strangers to the women they abuse. This is how complicated this “toilet use” issue is.
It should also be pointed out that butch lesbians (assigned female at birth who identify as a woman, attracted to women, and dress/appear like men) also commonly face discrimination in terms of toilet use. They are often told to go to the men’s CR. When they use the women’s toilets, many times, other women’s eyes are on them with questioning, sometimes, derisive looks.
Often, we react to things almost automatically. Often too, there is no intention to be rude or to discriminate against others, but unfortunately, we do not know any better. This is why education and consciousness-raising are very important. Patience is extremely necessary if mindsets are to evolve. Concepts surrounding SOGIE are not easy to grasp especially with the ever-increasing, ever-evolving acronyms. Admittedly, it is not easy to keep up with all the development.
Because the LGBTQI+ community needs all possible allies, questions should be answered patiently and concepts explained, if needed, repeatedly. I know that many groups are doing serious education initiatives in schools and communities and these should be strengthened. However, there are also reports of undue aggression that comes from members of the community. This is unnecessary and as much as possible, should be prevented. Even if the bill passes, the struggle will go on because passing a law is but a first big step forward. The need to make people understand will not go away just because a law is in place.
SOGIE equality goes well beyond toilet talk. This is about the rights and lives of those belonging to the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Intersex, + community. This is about having a society that accords everyone their human rights. The SOGIE Equality bill must pass.
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